Monday, October 22, 2012

Legally Correct Fairy Tales

Imagine what would happen if Nursery Rhyme and Fairy Tale characters got access to legal counsel and the court system and you have the basis for David Fisher's Legally Correct Fairy Tales an amusing collection of cases.

In the first case, a lawyer is civil court suing on behalf of Jack and Jill for defective pails that caused them to fall while acquiring water. With the current awards for people spilling hot coffee on themselves, the outcome of this case is not hard to predict.

The second case finds us again in civil court with a tailor suing the Emperor for payment of clothing delivered. Considering the power of the Emperor and his humiliation suffered at the hands of the boy, I was amused, but not surprised by the outcome.

The third story covers a hearing to determine the sanity of Hansel and Gretel to determine if they can be considered guilty of the crime of murder in killing the alleged witch that threatened to eat Hansel. The outcome of this case was touch and go.

The next story is a petition for guardianship of Sleeping Beauty that would award the sole survivor of her family the right to prevent anyone from waking her up and thus total control of her estate. This one is left without resolution.

Next, we discover Snow White is being sued by the EEOC for discrimination because she only hires the dwarves to work in her mining and food service industries. Again, no resolution to this case just an announcement of pending actions.

In the next story, Mr. Wolf is brought to court to give a deposition under the RICO act as a member of an organized crime family the Wolves. The lawyers grill him about various activities of his family including Red Riding Hood, Peter and the Wolf, and specific to him the incident with the three pigs.

Humpty is next on the docket as he is lodging a complaint against King's hospital for negligence and malpractice.

The Old Lady in the Shoe dies without a will leaving a lower court to rule that her eldest son inherits all. In the next case, the children appeal the ruling.

The courts are next presented with a custody battle over Pinocchio between an Oak Tree and Gepetto. While Gepetto admits he found him in the forest, he says the boy was neglected and in need of care. The court psychologist expresses concern over Pinocchio's delusions about nose growth. Eventually the judge decides drug treatment is required before any custody choices can be made.

The author also covers cases involving Cinderella's Prince Charming, Little Red Riding Hood, Beauty and the Beast, the Frog Prince, and Goldilocks. Some are stronger than others.

My suggestion is to read the stories before sharing them with children. Some are more appropriate for certain age groups than others. Prince Charming's foot fetish is not something I would want to explain to children.

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